Former Democratic gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum resurfaced on social media Monday for the first time since being found inebriated in a hotel room.

In a video posted on his verified Instagram profile, Gillum spoke of his drinking problems and entrance into rehab.

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“I had totally underestimated the impact that losing the race for Governor had had on my life and on the way those impacts started to show up on every aspect of my life,” Gillum said. “I didn’t want to talk emotionally or really deeply about what had happened in the race for Governor because it was a constant reminder of failure and my own personal failures. It was a reminder that I had let so many people down. It was a chorus, this voice that I tried for so long to quiet, which said that I wasn’t enough, that I wasn’t good enough.”

 In the video, Gillum describes elected office as his life’s work.

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“Not only that, after having spent 16, 17 years as an elected official — the thing I knew how to do well, the thing that gave me an outlet to go and try to change the community in the way that I thought would make it better — all of that was all of a sudden gone. It really did cause me to think about my own purpose, my own value and what I could contribute, if anything. I didn’t want to face all those things so I numbed,” Gillum said.

“In truth, I was perfecting what it meant to wear the mask, suffering in silence because I simply could not bring myself to deal square on with what was happening more deeply inside of me.”

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